Fly Away

Ah the drama.

The events of the day unfolded as such:

1:30pm Bobbie and I arrived back from lunch (McDonald's for McFlurries!) and were sitting in my car in the parking lot of IBM. I look in my rearview mirror and see a familiar figure coming towards me. Yes, you guessed it. It was him. He hung out there for the whole time in the sweltering heat and humidity.

2:00pm James follows me back inside and then goes to my locker with me. Weird. He then follows me to the entrance to the fab and I asked him what he was doing. He said he wanted to talk. Right there in the busiest part of the area where people are leaving and entering the fab.

He started pleading with me, asking me questions about Kristiaan, and then delivered a devestating blow: He said, "I guess driving through 3 feet of snow in a terrible blizzard on Valentine's Day meant nothing to you."

That made me feel so bad that little fucker knew it would too. I started bawling. Right in front of a ton of people. He jumped up and said, "I didn't mean to make you cry that was not my intention!" Uhm, ok well what the fuck WAS your intention with that statement?? To make me smile???

For 45 minutes this went on.

I finally got back on line after being gone for almost 2 hours. I felt awful because other people depend on me getting back in time for them to go on break.

He called me a little while later and asked to see me after work. I said no. I had plans with Kris. I ignored future phone calls from him, and then at 6:45pm he called me from an outside line so I couldn't see who it was. I answered and it was him. I should have hung up on him but I just can't do it. He wanted me to come to his office and see his new computer and read over his English homework. I said no at first and then I thought foolishly, "Maybe if I just go there and get it over with he will back off."

WRONG!

Bad idea. I went there and he quickly shut the office door and started in again. He gently but still physically was restraining me trying to get me to stay, to be late for meeting Kris, etc. I told him, "Let me go."

He did, but then he followed me to my car. He kept saying he wished I would do this, that i wouldn't go out with Kris that night, and then he leaned on my car and wouldn't move. I had to get to the point of tears before he would see my desperation and move away from the car. When he did he had the saddest look on his face that I have ever seen.

i see him totally differently now. I used to see him as emotionless, a robot if you will, because he would never express emotions to me or act like I was much of anything special. Now he is realizing that he was like a robot and he is regretting and trying to change. I hope he can for the next girl's sake.