Finally Again

I got inspired again! Pretty much the day that James and I broke up I lost my desire to create. It was like I lost my joy. I know that he and I didn't fit well together but for some reason he as some sort of muse for me I suppose. Well, we are friends again and although things are not back to how they were, I am suddenly noticing that I have all these ideas flooding to me and I am feeling the urge to create again. Sigh. Who knew he would have that effect on me. Its funny because he still drives me absolutely fucking crazy (the insane kind of crazy) when we hang out together. I go from feeling complete irritation and frustration with his childish behavior to feeling deeply connected and loving all within a few hours of being in his company. I hope I don't have to start taking happy pills again!!!

Yes I wish that I could just get away from him in a way so that we would both be happier but apparently that is not in the cards right now. I'm just along for the ride at this point. I want more from a relationship than what he is able and willing to give me but you know, I don't necessarily want those things right now so I'm just going with the flow. I still feel detachment so that is good.

Need to find a new way to keep this guy together than just one little crimp bead!! I'm going to go work on that right now...