Today....was a day.

A lot of stuff happened today. First, I have been noticing since Monday evening that my car has been louder than usual, especially at high speeds. Now, I don't go on the highway much so I don't go over 40 or 50 most of the time anyway. But I was driving home from my parents' house and I thought maybe it was my imagination, but I had to turn up my radio super loud and it also seems like it has been a wicked gas guzzler lately.

Today was my divorce hearing. The final one. In front of a judge. So I picked Rocky up at his house and told him about the noise on the way to drop off the kids at my parents' house. He was shocked at how loud it was on the interstate and said it might be my bearings. Great. That is a very expensive problem. Luckily I have a warranty since the car is only 2 years old but there is no telling if that is covered or not.

We went to court, had our 15 minutes in front of the judge who of course happens to like Ford Thunderbirds (Rocky's fav and he owns a shitbeater one) so it was all jovial and thankfully really easy. We went to my parents' house to get the kids and switched cars with my Dad and took the kids to Denny's for lunch.


Its too bad that Rocky and I couldn't have stayed married because we get along great...as long as we aren't living together. We had a nice time at lunch and then I brought him home.

I started Alex in the Bible School at the Harvest Baptist Church that is 3 driveways down from my house. He really liked it and wants to go all 5 nights! Its from 6:30 to 8:30 pm which is perfect because I can get all my stuff done during the day and then after dinner he has something to do until bedtime.


So I do not know how I am feeling. I got into it with James at work yesterday even though I knew it was a bad idea, I just couldn't help myself from telling him how he was making me feel and how I was just so done with it all and to stop everything now instead of continuing this retarded game we are playing. He hung up on me, so I deleted him from my myspace and sent him an email saying "Done. Have a nice life." I figured he would just shrug his shoulders and say "Fine bitch whatever you want." But no, he called me back an hour later and seemed to want to hash it out. He was being nice actually, but I was so livid that I said some really mean things. I told him we were wasting our time, and that if he never wanted to get married, settle down, have a family and all that then there was no point in dragging this out. He said "I never said I didn't want those things." Yeah but you never said you did, either. He is teasing me now saying these things that give me a reason to want to keep talking to him, yet things are never going to change. Brew fest is this weekend, and yet again another event is going to happen where he goes with his friends and I am not invited. I know he already got tickets to it. I am pretty fucking sure mine isn't one of them. Of course when I ask him about it he says his famous, "I don't know." He said that when I asked him if he wanted me to be out of his life completely, if he still considered himself in a relationship, and if he wanted to talk it out in a different setting. To me, I Don't Know means "NO but I'm too chickenshit to tell you that". What does "I don't know" mean to you?