I know I haven't written in my blog in a while. I just haven't had the time, and now we are thinking of getting rid of the internet to save $60 a month which is sad because its like my connection with the outside world!!
As most of you may know, the pregnancy terminated itself a couple of weeks ago. I am really ok though. I feel grateful to God that I had the experience as I feel that it strengthened my resolve and showed me how selfish I was being through out the 11.5 weeks that my body was a vessel. All I cared about was how much weight I was gaining and how crappy I felt and woe is me wah wah wah. I didn't really care about anything else, didn't really even acknowledge the pregnancy on a daily basis because I was too wrapped up in how I was feeling. I ate like crap, still drank a moderate amount of caffeine daily (bad bad bad for fetuses), and didn't exercise much at all. We may never know what caused it to end, but I know that if and when I get pregnant again, I am going to cherish every moment and every day no matter how awful I feel. I'll gain a hundred pounds if that is what my body needs to do.
In other ways it is also better I think this way, because now Kris can finish school without worrying about me delivering right when he would be graduating, and he can focus more on his studies so that he can get a job and then the pressure won't be all on me to be the one with a steady job. He does contribute a lot financially to things like food and some of the mortgage, but its not enough for us to live on.
So anyhow, that's what has been up. Its been emotional but I have made peace with it and I am looking forward to trying again!!! :)
